Fatty fat fat

I usually wear headphones.  Before Josh and I started dating, I wore them almost all the time.   I started in middle school with the yellow Sony Walkman everyone had in the 80s, and now I'm up to pink earbuds and an iPod. 

I first wanted to wear headphones all the time because I get bored.  I like to listen to music while I'm sitting in a car for hours with my family on a road trip, while I'm walking from place to place, or doing random chores.  

But I discovered quickly that wearing headphones had a side benefit.  I didn't have to hear the things people were saying about me.  Even if I did hear them, I could pretend that I didn't and salvage a shred of dignity.

People have shit to say to me.  Sometimes because I'm a woman.  Usually because I'm a fat woman.

I got involved (in a lurky way) with fat activism when I wanted to put together a lady 11th Doctor costume to wear to the Gallifrey One convention in LA.  I had an idea in my head of what I wanted, but I couldn't find it anywhere.  I did end up with a nice tweed lady blazer before I gave up completely.  

I had been wearing polo shirts and jeans for so long.  I hadn't even tried to find anything else.  Some intense googling brought me to fatshion webpages. (Fat + Fashion = Fatshion)  And through that space, I found fat activism.  

 Candy apples and razor blades

Candy apples and razor blades

This photograph is the first in a planned series.  About the things people yell at me.  Or say to me when they think I can't hear.  

People are so shocked when they hear about the abuse that happens on the regular to fat people.  That always surprises me.  Probably because I was a fat kid, and I've been hearing this stuff my whole life.  

Every time it happens no one acts like they give a shit. They laugh along or look away.  I just figured that everyone who looks at me knows I am being verbally harassed regularly.

They don't?  Well.  I'll make some art about that.

I've been a little amused the past couple of weeks by how appalled everyone is when the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch said that he didn't want fat girls wearing his clothes.

Well, no duh.  

First of all, dude said all this in 2006, so I'm confused as to why suddenly now people seem to give a shit.  I suspect that people who are a US women's size 10 are not usually in the XL category and maybe that's why people are mad.  They don't want to be put in the same boat with the fats.

There is only 1 store in the mall I can buy clothes at.  Maybe 2.  Lane Bryant is dumpy as fuck and expensive, so I don't get much there but underwear.  And if the clothes at Torrid don't match my style, I am fucked out of luck.  

Torrid is better than nothing but not ideal. I miss the gothy clothes they used to have. They try to be on trend (bless their hearts) but they are often a season or more behind.

THAT IS ONE FUCKING STORE.  ONE.  IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MALL.

ONE. FUCKING. STORE.

NO ONE WANTS MY MONEY.  IT'S NOT DIPPED IN FUCKING BUTTER.  You won't even know it came from a fat girl.  It's exactly the same as everyone else's goddamn money.

SOMEONE TAKE MY BUTTERY FATASS MONEY!  

And this is why I do all my clothes shopping online.

The CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch just felt comfortable enough to say it out loud.  None of the major stores and brands want gross icky fat women in their clothes.  Or fatting up their stores and grossing out the real customers.

I'm going to have to take a moment and breathe through all my fatty lady rage.  Which is FUCKING LEGION.

The Militant Baker did an amazing photo reply which I am going to look at when I feel like I need to scream at people.  I think I am in friend-love with her now.  Also, I want more ink.