Ali Thompson

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Why you mad at fat people?

Apparently talking about fat hatred and stigma makes some people really angry.  So I figured, why not address it all at once, and then maybe we can put this all behind us and move on.

I'm aware that this is probably an unachievable dream, but you can't blame me for trying.  At the very least, I can just throw out a link and keep it moving.

Here's the tl;dr version in big, bold letters--

If someone saying that fat people deserve to treated like human beings and not punished or demeaned makes you angry-- You are the one who has a problem.

Maybe you should take a moment (or several) and figure out why someone insisting on their right to exist in the world makes you feel furious and threatened.

Look, it's not easy to confront that you are in a group of people that has privileges.  That you- through nothing you've personally done- have benefited while another group of people has been pushed down.  But that is the reality of the situation.

I am talking about institutional discrimination.  I am not talking about one on one personal interaction, which depending on the situation, can be hurtful/devastating for anyone.

I think we can all agree that no one should be shamed or bullied or insulted about their body or anything else.  Hell, if we could institute a ban on commenting on other people's bodies at all, I think that would probably be better.

But I am not going to stand by and let people say that there is no organized, institutional discrimination of fat people. Not without a rebuttal. Because it's a lie.  Just because you choose not to see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

And here's another fact for you--

If you can choose to ignore or dismiss the oppression of a group, that is privilege. 

I don't have that luxury.  

Angry people, I'm not trying to insult you, but it sure does look like you've made up your mind to be angry before you even finish reading the entire post.

I keep getting comments/emails from people screaming at me for insulting/ridiculing them, for attacking them for being too thin.  I never did.  I've gone out of my way on several occasions to say that body shaming is never ok.

Also, a lot of the comments just go to prove my point, as they thinsplain to me that I'm lying about my life.  Do you see how you are proving the point that people call me a liar about my fat life experience all the time?  

They also want to know why I don't acknowledge the suffering of very thin people.  Well.  For one thing, I have no idea what you're talking about.  I'm not a very thin person.  I would suggest that you go get your own blog and write about that yourself.

And also because if you want me to say that the discrimination of very fat people and very thin people is the same-- I won't.  I can't do that, because I don't believe it is.

Oh, I believe that people say ugly and vicious things to the very thin.  I believe that you have a harder time finding clothes in some places at a US size 0 than someone who is a 6.  I believe you.  

BUT!  Is the government engaged in a war on your body type?  The War on Obesity is real.  Is there a War on the Underweight?  I'd like to see some links, please.  

I included a whole bunch of links in my last piece about fat people- women especially-- making less money as a group, about not being able to get health care at all, about juries not believing fat women.

I'm not even going to get into thin people who keep comparing that they have trouble finding clothes sometimes to fat people who can't find ANYTHING.  I can't with y'all. 

Maybe the next time you get angry feels about something I've written, you could read the whole thing before coming at me, including the links.  I took the time to look this shit up for you, the least you could do is read it before you try to put words in my mouth.

And oh yeah-- don't put words in my fucking mouth.

Now let me address the women who scream at me that they don't want to hear about fat people because they used to have an eating disorder.

Excuse me.  You are not the only person on earth with an eating disorder.  I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. I have disclosed my ED multiple times on this blog, and if you would have cared to read the entire piece, you would have seen me disclose AGAIN.  It is my unscientific hunch that you would be hard pressed to find a fat woman in the West who doesn't have some kind of disordered eating patterns/thoughts from all the malicious dieting crap we are subjected to.

I am sorry you have struggled with an eating disorder.  Again-- me too.  But your eating disorder is NOT an excuse for you to hate fat people.  It's not an excuse for you to ignore my actual words to spew vile hatred at me.

Do you hate and fear the idea of being fat?  Of fat people?  It's no surprise to me that you would, if you have an eating disorder.  BUT.  I am not willing to be the walking embodiment of what you hate and fear.  I am a PERSON.  

Learning to not hate the idea of fat and my own fat body has been helpful to me in my continuing recovery.  Maybe it could help you too.

But it's not my job as a Fat Person (tm), to eat shit from people with eating disorders.  Having an eating disorder isn't a free pass to be bigoted.  I'm sorry.  But that's the truth.

If you want to see your story of recovery from an eating disorder out there-- go start a blog.  It's free.  But I can't tell your story for you.  Only you can do that.

I'm happy to talk to you about my ideas.  If you don't agree, or you think I've gotten something wrong, you can contact me, and I'll talk to you.

But I am not going to talk to people who scream at me on the internet without even having read the entirety of what I have to say.  I'm going to ban you for being a troll.  There's too many screaming, angry people and just one of me.

I'm too busy to deal with that, and I value my mental health too much.

So.  That's that.  Let's see where it goes from here.