I can't take hormonal birth control. I have an anxiety disorder, and the hormones make my panic attacks worse. They make me feel crazy and awful.
It's a shame, since the Pill works so well for most people. And when I was taking it and doubling up with condoms, I felt really good about how I wasn't going to get pregnant.
Because I really don't want to have a kid.
(I was going to bow to societal pressure here and explain all my very good reasons for not wanting a kid, but you know what? I won't.)
A few weeks ago, we had a whoops moment. An oh, shit, now what? moment.
So I took a dose of Plan B. And it was awful. A couple of weeks of the bad symptoms that got me to stop taking the Pill in the first place. Why it didn't occur to me that since the Pill is hormones and Plan B is hormones = panic attacks for me, I do not know.
Maybe it's because I can only keep so many things in my head at one time, and right now it's all Game of Thrones and Doctor Who.
(Look just because Plan B doesn't work for me, doesn't mean anything about it. Plan B should be available to anyone who wants it, any time. And it will be soon! Hell yeah, federal court!)
I made a decision. I hope there is not a next time, but if there is-- I am going to just have the abortion.
I'll just wait and see if I'm pregnant, and if I am, I'll have the abortion.
I said it twice, cause it's probably a shocking thing to say. Is it? I don't know. I'm not a good judge of what other people find shocking.
Having a panic attack is no fucking joke, you guys. I would rather have my uterus scraped out than have to spend a solid 2 weeks freaking out and thinking crazy thoughts. No. I do not want that.
Here's another reason-- it's my body and I'll do what I fucking like with it.
So why write about abortion, since I could possibly get furious emails about this? Because we need to talk about abortion and birth control. The anti-choice nutjobbers aren't going to stop talking about it, making shit up and trying to control women.
But it's a baaaaaabeeeeeee, people wail. Ok. Let's say it is. I mean, it's a zygote which is not the same thing as a baby, but let's say I gave you that argument.
Ok, it's a baby. By not letting the 'baby' stay inside my body, I've killed a baby.
Ok. So what? I should still be able to have the abortion, and here is why--
No one has the right to force me to use my body or even parts of my body to keep someone else alive.
If my sister needs a kidney transplant, and I am a match to give her a kidney-- I don't have to. You might think that makes me an asshole, but that doesn't mean THE LAW should tie me down to a hospital bed and do surgery on me against my will.
No one can force you to give blood. But if you don't give blood, people could die. People will die if everyone stops giving blood. Yet no one would propose that people be forced to give blood.
This is a body autonomy argument, and I first heard it on the podcast Godless Bitches.
So what we're really talking about is control over women, because if the body violation involves men too (forced organ or blood donation), it would never be tolerated.
Another right winger statement-- "You just want abortion on demand". The liberal response is to usually mumble something like-- Well, no. I agree abortion is bad.
Don't do that. I totally do want abortion on demand. I demand control over my body and my future. I think abortion is a good thing, just like the Pill is a good thing. The ability to control when and if we have children and how many is the fundamental basis of gender equality.
Why do you think right wingers want so badly to take it away?