Why I hate the phrase "granny panties"

Ok, I have work to do, but before I get started, I want to talk a bit about the phrase "granny panties" and why I loathe it. Boundaries and ground rules as follows--

1) I am not available for sexual comments or anything suggestive. Not to anyone & especially not to cis men. I don't mind a little light flirting from queer girls and nonbinary people, but I get uncomfortable really fast with this stuff, so unless you know me well... prob don't.

Queer girls and non binary people can tell me they think I'm cute or hot or whatever, cis men will be blocked or muted. 2) I do not need underwear suggestions. This is not about that, it's about my reading of the phrase "granny panties" and why it fucking irks me.

Ok, so here are my thoughts about the phrase "granny panties", in no particular order. Starting with-- I experience this phrase as a type of shaming, in the same tired old vein of that Madonna/Whore complex we can't ever seem to break free from.

I don't find it cute and see my prior threads about why I don't like teasing. For one thing-- older people have sex too, so associating underwear that is supposedly Hilariously Not Sexual with older women is pretty shit.

Second-- the cultural idea that feminine underwear _has_ to serve a sexual purpose for cis men to SEE, rather than to serve a functional purpose for the personal actually WEARING them. Is heteronormative and misogynist crap.

There is literally an entire chapter in Backlash by Susan Faludi about the lingerie industry in the 1980s and how it was totally controlled by cis men who only gave a shit about what THEY wanted cis women to wear.

The CEO of Victoria's Secret gave an interview where he fantasized that career women wanted to wear garter belts to their corporate meetings to "get a little thrill", which... having experienced the shit show that is corporate dress codes, I very fucking much doubt it.

(Page 202 of the 15th Anniversary of Backlash, if you want to see for yourself.)

Third- Different cuts of underwear work differently on different butts and with different styles of clothing. There are some body shapes and some clothes that just work better with high waisted briefs. I don't understand why that is so goddamn hilarious.

Fucking Fourth- I have been sexualized against my will since fucking middle school, can I please JUST BUY SOME GODDAMN UNDERWEAR without it having to be a referendum on if I am ugly or weird or if anyone wants to have sex with me???

FIFTH-- (NO COMMENTARY NEEDED THANK YOU) I have never had anyone call a halt to sex b/c I am wearing high waisted panty briefs. And if they had-- I would have told them to get the fuck out b/c I don't fuck people who criticize my fucking clothes.

SIXTH A lot of the panty sets that are supposedly the "sexy" ones? Really don't work well on fat bodies, especially fat bellies and (christ i still hate this word, but fine) fupas. SHIT ROLLS DOWN. You know what I don't want? MY FUCKING UNDERWEAR MAKING A BREAK FOR THE FLOOR

Like, this feels like a jab that hits fat girls and any other fat people wearing feminine panties way way more than it does thin people wearing panties. And thin people panties COST SO MUCH LESS. Like YOU ALREADY HAVE THE ENTIRE UNDERPANTS WORLD, why are you fucking with ME.


know the phrase "granny panties" isn't going anywhere b/c there's nothing people like more than a mean rhyme, but I fucking hate it And probably don't say it to me b/c I am gonna be pissed. That's it.